Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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