....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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