Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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