I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize