How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
you never un-have a 4some
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize