I never want to see another naked old woman again.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
