Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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