Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize