i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
