No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
