Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
