I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you traded sex for a burrito?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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