Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
