There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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