Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
