Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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