I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
