Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
