Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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