so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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