I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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