What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Last time i carry you out of a forest
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
