"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize