ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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