Buhtt sex?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
