we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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