I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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