I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
