we have pet lesbian snakes
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think a kid would responsible me up
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
