His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
