There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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