Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
