She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
