i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
