He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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