Joe is yelling at the trees again.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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