By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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