im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
