nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
