This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize