Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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