I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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