you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
