I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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