he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
