They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
