i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
