True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
