scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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