bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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