remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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