i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
