So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Your penis caused this!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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