i just google imaged poop.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
