I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
