I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
