thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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